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Eleven Annoying Facebook Buddies to Defriend

Eleven Annoying Facebook Buddies to Defriend

Allison Ford | Divine Caroline

September 27, 2010

Sure, Facebook is great in a lot of ways. Without it, I’d never know about my high school acquaintances’ getting married and having babies; it keeps me tethered to my friends who live far away and helps me stay in touch with friends who I don’t get to see much anymore.

Best of all, it provides me with a forum in which I can vent my humor, irritation, anger, admiration, outrage, and cute animal videos, and can see my friends post those things, too.

But like all great things, Facebook has a catch. Once you’ve amassed a sizeable collection of friends, you’re bound to find yourself with a few duds. Maybe they’ve changed a lot since you knew them. Maybe they’re not as interesting as you thought they were. Or maybe they’re fine in real life, but extremely strange online. It’s okay. You don’t have to delete them forever—just block them. Keep them on the back burner of your friends list, and prevent your news feed from getting cluttered up with their weirdness, drama, and occasional outright insanity.

1) The TMI

No bodily function is too icky and nobody’s privacy is too sacred. This Facebooker believes in dishing all the dirty details. The results of their latest doctor’s appointment and medical tests, their children’s emotional problems, and their marital strife are all in full view for all their friends to witness. Although it may be tempting to cut off their disturbingly revealing posts, it’s actually worth having at least a few TMIers around for comedic benefit.

Typical status: “Ugh, having hot flashes for the past two days! My gyno said that even with my uterine fibroids I have another ten years before I hit menopause! WTF?”

2) The Person Who Speaks in Song Lyrics

Aside from the fact that they can’t formulate their own thoughts, the worst thing about this person and their posts are the inevitable commenters who complete the song, thus proving that they too are idiots.

Typical status: “I got me a car, it’s as big as a whale!” Comment: “and we’re headin on down to the love shack! Lol”

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Featured Author: DivineCaroline
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