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5 Cover Letters That Worked

Tania Khadder | Excelle

February 23, 2010

Mistake: A Weak Opening




If they don’t get past the first line of your cover letter, they definitely aren’t going to read your resume. The opening sentence of your cover letter is a hiring manager’s first impression of you — it had better not be dull. Simply stating that you’re applying for the available position isn’t going to turn any heads.

The Solution: Give them a hook.

We’re not saying you shouldn’t state what job you’re applying for. We’re just saying that, when you do, you need to wow them with something immediately following. Instantly inject one of your unique selling points. Show off your knowledge of the company. Let them know how passionate you are about your field. Tell them something they don’t already know.


The Real Cover Letter That Worked →


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    Sharifoe

    over 3 years ago

    2 comments

    No idea how this cover letter managed to be successful. The first paragraph alone is riddled with errors and an attempt to be fancy with use of hyphenations.

    "I understand that we are in midst OF a recession..." -- Like really, how the hiring manager didn't notice the lack of preposition is beyond me. Maybe the writer and hiring manager both think we should revert back to the 1800s in regards to language.

    And then to no avail, the very next segment the writer pretends to know how to use hyphenations. "... and as unemployment rises -- your inbox fills with applicants." "Hey, look mom, I can use other symbols in my writing besides commas and periods I'm so smart." Last time I checked, hyphenations are supposed to be used for adding onto an already complete sentence providing further information whether it be an opinion or fact. Removing, "... your inbox fills with applicants." and your left with "... and as unemployment rises." Yes, good job Scotty leave the hiring manager hanging, but maybe he likes cliff hangers because apparently thats how you got hired.

    I don't know if this article gives me hope or despair. Hopeful in regards to someone as verbally challenged as this miscreant is capable of landing a job or despair in the fact that someone with the same lack of finesse in the English language probably will take my job.

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    kelsey_jenks

    over 3 years ago

    34 comments

    This is very helpful!

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    CHPhillips

    about 4 years ago

    14 comments

    Wow, this article helps a lot. For a long time I was frustrated when it came to writing cover letters because it seemed I had no direction. I didn't realize I should be writing my letter for the company and what qualifications I meet that are beneficial to the company, instead I just wrote about me and my achievements and/or qualities. If you hadn't guessed by now, I wasn't very successful. Thanks for the great advice!

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    igarcia1313

    about 4 years ago

    2 comments

    I need to Print out three sample cover letters for my class, then i can make my own.

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    rsbryson53

    about 4 years ago

    4 comments

    I need to write a real good cover letter for collector position

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    Montannam1

    about 4 years ago

    2 comments

    I need to write a cover letter for a management position.

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    srjimmy1941

    about 4 years ago

    2 comments

    I need to write a cover letter for a Security Officer position

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    migdalia1021

    about 4 years ago

    2 comments

    i need to write a cover letter for a child care position

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    Frank_Ball

    about 4 years ago

    19756 comments

    Please keep your comments on topic to the article -- Any comments posted with embedded links leading to questionable infected sites outside MonsterCollege will be removed and the poster's account will be banned from MonsterCollege. Thank you.

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    Dpfiling

    over 4 years ago

    2 comments

    For all of the droning-on about typos, grammar, and proof-reading, the last sentence of the letter from the magazine editor (of all people) just jumped off of the page when I read it. Surely, she meant, "Thank you so much for your time and consideration." However, she wrote, "Thank you for so much your time and consideration." This just proves that even the best of us sometimes miss a typo or other mistake. This is why it is so important to have someone with impeccable literary skills proof-read something as important as a resume or cover letter -- actually, any important document should be proofed by more than one person. For something as important as this, one can never be too careful.

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    jorgeros

    over 4 years ago

    8 comments

    These are some excellent examples of cover letters. I feel inspired to write some much better ones now. However, I don't want to write a completely new one each time, it's just not very efficient. I'm wondering how much of each of these cover letters was reused for many positions.

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    shollins

    over 4 years ago

    2 comments

    Good info!

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    woodgt

    over 4 years ago

    12 comments

    Good points, you have to make a letter directly to the job, and let them know why your are fit for this job more so than the other 2 hundred resumes.

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    Mr_College

    over 4 years ago

    282 comments

    Good stuff, thanks Tania! Every page is really interesting.

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    DavidChou

    over 4 years ago

    362 comments

    customize cover letter and resume to fit in the job applied for.